Baby Bangs

Dear baby bangs,

I hate you.

(Disclaimer:  this is NOT in reference to the blog, Baby Bangs, which I actually love. And stalk read religiously.  And maybe perhaps daydream about being friends with Amanda, Beth Moore's daughter.  Who probably hates being referred to as "Beth Moore's daughter." )

So, what was I saying?  Oh yes.  Baby bangs, you're awful.  Why do you insist upon torturing new moms with random hairs that stick STRAIGHT OUT of our heads?  Like, at a 45-degree angle?  Right where our hair parts....I mean, that's just unnecessary. 

And for that matter, why are you still sticking around sixteen months after I had a baby?!?!  I mean, a few months, I can deal with.  No one feels pretty right after having a baby (and if you do, there may be something wrong with you, and we cannot be friends).   What's one more thing? I mean, add it to the hemorrhoids, cankles, and spare tire around the middle.  I can take it.

But it's been a year and a half!  PLEASE.  GO AWAY. 

My flatiron can't even tame you, and at 400 degrees of straightening power, that's really saying something.

(And maybe I should examine why I think it's okay to burn my hair at 400 degrees on the regular.)

(And while I'm at it, I should examine why I think it's okay to say things like "on the regular." I'm not Usher.  Or Justin Bieber.)

So, while I appreciate you trying to keep me humble by making me look crazy all the time, I do not need your help.  I promise. 

I've got more than enough crazy to go around.

Valentine's Day and Christmas

What?  It's not like they're months apart or anything. 

Oh wait.  But they both involve the color red, so I think that makes it work. 

Right? 

(Let's be honest, who even cares at this point?  Just the fact that I have some time to blog right now is nothing short of miraculous.  Maybe I should try to cover St. Patty's Day too, while I'm actually on here.)

So, we'll start with Valentine's Day.  I hope you all had a wonderful day, full of romance, flowers, and most importantly, those large heart-shaped boxes of candy....my own personal favorite.  My V-day was a little less exciting.  It started a few weeks before during a conversation with John that went something like this:

John:  Hey babe, I'm so sorry, but I'm going to be out of town for work on Valentine's Day.

Me:  Bahahahaha, that's hilarious.  Nice try, but I know you're just trying to surprise me with some fun Valentine's Day date. Where are we going?

John:  Um....no really.  I have meetings in LA all day....

Sherri:  ....AND YOU'RE TAKING ME WITH YOU!  YAY!  I CAN'T WAIT TO SPEND V-DAY CELEBRITY STALKING.  I mean, in LA with you, of course. 

John:  Yeah....no.  I really have to be there for work, and I really can't take you with me.

Sherri:  Well, what idiot planned meetings on Valentine's day?! 

John:  That would be this idiot.

Oops.

So, we celebrated with a baby-free weekend, the weekend BEFORE Valentine's Day.  John re-created our first date--in which we went to South City Kitchen (where I daintily stuffed my face with a plateful of fried chicken.)  Then, on to the Whole World Theatre for some improv comedy. (Where I prayed like crazy that they wouldn't pull me up on stage and make me do something embarrassing.)  Then, on to Krispy Kreme, where I, once again, stuffed my face (daintily, of course) with some glazed donuts. 

Clearly, every fun night should end with donuts and a super stylish hat. 

(A super-stylish hat that he made me wear all the way home.  Nice.)

He also was very sweet, and surprised me with a trip to one of my favorite stores (starting with an "Anthro"  and ending with a "pologie") to help me pick out a little treat.  I had to laugh at him  and this other poor guy, miserably sitting on a little sofa, waiting for their women to come out of the dressing rooms. 

(I may or may not have prolonged my trying-on experience just to see what a trooper he was.  I'm sweet like that.)

Anyway, since I was ALL ALONE on the actual Valentine's day (John, are you reading this? Don't feel bad or anything), I may or may not have rewarded myself with some candy.  And some lattes.  And a spin class (oh wait, that wasn't actually a reward, now that I think about it).  And watching lots of my favorite shows on tivo.  In my sweats.

It was kinda awesome.

Now, on to my Christmas recap.  I figure since we still have Christmas lights on the front of our house, this is totally acceptable, right? 

(Wrong.  In more ways than one.)

Regardless, here's a quick recap, list style:

1.  First Christmas at home as a family! Like, ever.  Well, ever in the last 6 years.  And it snowed on Christmas day for the first time in about 100 years.  Amazing.

2.  AG actually got to open and enjoy some presents.  Although, let's be honest, she really enjoyed the wrapping paper and boxes.


Pure Christmas Cuteness



Her new music set.  And I'm pretty sure she hit herself in the head with the maraca, right after this picture.
Oh sweet, Christmas memories.



3.  John and I were old farts mature adults and got ourselves a Christmas gift that we needed.  Yes.  The rest of our dining room chairs.  Perhaps you can tell this wasn't my idea?

4.  John then surprised me with a Christmas morning scavenger hunt.....

I will not even tell you how long it took me to figure this clue out, because I'm embarrassed.
Let's just say, a bit longer than it should have.

 .......that lead to the new love of my life my Kindle!

Why yes.  That's me, sleeping with my kindle. 
And yes. It was my sweet, kind husband who took this lovely picture of me.

At least I wasn't drooling.

Happy Christmas-tine's Day!

Lately...

....my life has been nuts.  Seriously, nuts.  Think, a little something like this:

....wake up....feed AG, play with AG while negotiating three different contracts for three different clients....try to sufficiently wear AG out so she will nap longer than 5 minutes (unlike today)....work, work, work, throw about 15 loads of laundry in at once in an effort to save time.....clean up the toys in the living room for the 14th time in one day, while wondering when AG will start to understand the concept of "helping mommy cleanup".....try to figure out dinner for AG....wonder if string cheese and chicken nuggets will cut it....again. Put her to bed.....try to figure out dinner for us.....wonder if string cheese and chicken nuggets will cut it...again. Fall on the couch in sheer exhaustion and decide to zone out in front of an episode of Hellcats.....(it's the Vampire Diaries of 2011.  At least for me). 

Are you jealous?  Yeah, didn't think so.  And any ideas on how to clone yourself? 

I did actually make it to a Superbowl Party last night.  Apparently, I was a Steelers fan, thanks to an extra jersey that Kristin brought me.  And the fact that I liked their colors better.  Which is a totally appropriate way to decide which team to root for.

Also, I hate the word root.  It reminds me of high school, where NO LIE, someone decided it was cool to start saying "Oh my root" instead of "oh my gosh." 

And by someone I do NOT mean me. 

(And I would never admit it if it was.)

(Although it wasn't.)

(Promise.)

Blogging Slump

Hi, my name's Sherri, and I am in a blogging slump.

What do you people do when you don't feel like blogging?  And it's not that I don't want to, it's just that I don't have anything interesting to say.  I mean, I could make something up, like last night I got glammed up, went out and ran into Reese Witherspoon, who told me she liked my outfit. 

NO. 

Not only do celebrities hide from me (as they have sixth sense that I would do something rash like attach myself to their leg, while begging them to be my friend), but I have apparently been wearing the same outfit for about 6 days straight.  As noted by John, when I came downstairs this morning and he was all "OH.  You're wearing your mom-uniform.  Again."

I do believe having a "mom-uniform" automatically disqualifies me from anyone's definition of glam.  Stacy and Clinton are probably in hiding on my doorstep, about to bust up in here and give me a whole new wardrobe.

(Now THAT would be blog-worthy.)

I promise to be back shortly.  And now that it's the end of January, I can tell you about our Christmas and New Years. 

I'm nothing if not super prompt and on top of things.

Snow Days. Not Quite As Much Fun As They Used To Be

In case you live in a cave or under a rock, the southeast is experiencing one of the worst snowstorms it's ever had. 

That's based on no actual facts, mind you,  just my observation that I HAVE BEEN HOUSEBOUND FOR 4 ENTIRE DAYS.

(Also, that's a rash statement, because I actually HAVE gone to friends houses, Starbucks, and the gym.  And no, not in that order. Although, don't think I wouldn't be the girl on the treadmill with my latte in the cupholder.  I totally would.  Caffeine makes you run faster, right? Right.)

Apparently, when the news anchors tell everyone to stay in your home, or risk freezing to death on the side of the interstate, I think they must not be talking to me.  Having lived in Georgia all my life, clearly my snow-driving skills are stellar.

Can I also let you know that the weekend before the blizzard of the century (aka "6 inches of snow and Atlanta shuts down for a week") AG dropped her morning nap?  And may I also let you know when people were on facebook raving about how much they were loving their snow days, I wanted to smack them down?  Because guess what's NOT fun about a snow day?  A baby who doesn't really like snow.  And needs to be entertained all morning.

AG is obviously unimpressed.  Which may have had something to with not having gloves on.
Or her embarrassment over mommy's camo gloves.  One or the other.

In case I'm sounding like a debbie downer, here's what was fun about the snow.  Snow Kayaking.  Oh yes.  It's exactly as redneck as it sounds.

And now a video for your viewing enjoyment:

I'm sure I meant "idiotic" in the most positive and uplifting of ways.

Christmas (Almost)

Okay, Christmas.  Let's do this.  I'm ready to recap. 

(Actually, let's just pretend that it's still the week before Christmas, okay?  Then, I could actually feel like it's not shameful to still have my tree up and the stockings still hung.  Or to still be listening to Christmas music on Pandora.)

(NOT that I'm doing that or anything.  And I promise that I didn't leave my tree up til February last year.)

(Maybe.)

For me, Christmas of 2010 will always be remembered as the Christmas of "Holy cow, HOW much did we just spend on babysitters?!"  I may be quitting my job to start babysitting.  Because y'all? They make a small fortune.  It's a pretty sweet deal.  You know, except for the watching other people's kids part.  I'm not sure I could do that.

Oh, just kidding.  Mostly.

Anyway on to Christmas!  I have decided to tell about our month using pictures, because my poor mind can't remember that far back, plus it's easier.  Win-win.

We started off the month with Kristin's graduation party. 

It appears that I enjoy highlighting my noodle arms in silly pictures. 

Or maybe just in any picture.

Next up, the Nelson's Christmas party, which had a Christmas Vacation theme....for the boys only.

Awesome.  I am all about getting cute, while the boys humiliate themselves entertain us with their outfits.

All the girls....Jenny looked so good that Aspen tried to kiss her in the middle of the picture!

Someone's getting fresh!

Also, someone just said "fresh," like she's about 70 years old.

(Let's overlook that, shall we?)

I really wish John would just come out of his shell a little more.

He clearly has a tendency to be shy.

Next up, my old small group's annual Christmas brunch. AG got in on the photo action.

(Girlfriend can seriously point her toes, am I right?)

A then, a few days before Christmas, Jenny's 30th (shhhhh!) birthday surprise at Cocktails and Canvas:

John's apron was a tad on the short side....just trying to keep him appropriate.

(At which I have lots of experience)

Action shot with the birthday girl--pictures are so much more fun with your mouth hanging open.

Clearly.

So, our friends Brooke and Cole, had to leave early.  They asked us to finish their paintings.

The girls were mature, and finished Brooke's photo just like we were supposed to:

The boys on the other hand......

....turned Cole's black lab into a rather disturbing cross between a penguin and a vampire.

A venguin.

Or a pampire.

Yes, I will stop now.

(They've clearly been watching too much Twilight).

Wow.  That took longer than I thought, and I'm not even through Christmas morning....and since I have about 34,000 pictures of THAT, I'll save it for the next blog post.  And just wait til I post about New Years....

I am all about a cliffhanger.  

Neglected

Dear blog,

I have neglected you.  I've been lost in the craziness of Christmas, and the unmotivation/seasonal depression that is January.

I am still here, I promise.  And I'm going to overload you with pictures, rash comments, and oversharing the moment life slows down.

I know.  You can't wait either.

Love,

Your friend Sherri, whose daughter has decided that she doesn't want to nap anymore, who spent approximately all of her life savings on babysitters during December, and who can't seem to stop eating those Lindt truffles that were in her Christmas stocking.   

(Thank you for the extra cellulite, John.  I hope you enjoy it.)