Adulthood kind of sneaks up on you. One minute, you're in college, dancing all night and inhaling Waffle House at 4am, and the next, you and your friends are discussing which bib works best for capturing stray food and baby drool. I thought it might be fun to share some of the other highly embarrassing statements I've caught myself making...you know, the ones that would pretty much make College Sherri roll over in her grave.
(Because College Sherri is no longer with us.)
(I didn't really like her that much anyway, what with her ability to eat fast food constantly and never gain weight. She's dead to me.)
1. "I'm so excited to watch my newest episode of HGTV's Design Star!"
(College Sherri feels confused right now, because she doesn't even know what HGTV stands for. No sweetie, it's not a new fraternity on campus, m-kay?)
2. "I got the most awesome swim dress from Amazon.com the other day!"
(Swim what? Is Adult Sherri for real right now? Sadly, yes. And please put down the sausage biscuits, College Sherri. They WILL catch up with you.)
3. "I really hope I get those dining room chairs I wanted for Christmas this year!"
(Excuse me, Adult Sherri? Dining room CHAIRS for Christmas? Why don't you just ask for some mom jeans instead?)
4. That sewing class I signed up for is gonna be awesome!
(Again, allow me to determine if you are, in fact, for real right now, Adult Sherri?)
(Adult Sherri really has nothing to say for herself.)
I hate to admit it, but based on some of these statements (okay fine. All of these statements), I'm pretty sure I'm about two minutes away from a minivan, a perm, and ironing my jeans.
Even though Adult Sherri feels pretty lame at the moment, I know my life is ultimately a lot more satisfying than College Sherri's. Not only do I know about waxing my eyebrows, I also own a flatiron, have an iPhone, and am proficient in "working the TiVo."
But most of all, I have them:
And they will trump your skinny, sausage biscuit-eating days every time, College Sherri.