Wednesday, April 28, 2010

32 Reasons I Love This Guy (A Birthday List for My Favorite 32-Year Old)

**Warning:  there is slight mushiness ahead.  If you have a mush-aversion, well, sorry.  I'd suggest you keep reading anyway, because it's not ALL mushy, and now I know you're curious. 

32 Reasons I Love This Guy........

(Um, do I even need to make a list now?  Dang!)

1.  The way he loves this girl.......

2.  And the way he loves THIS girl......

3.  Because the first thing he does when he walks in the door at night is kiss me.

4.  Because the SECOND thing he does when he walks in the door is to go get a spoonful of peanut butter. 

5.  The way he looks in sunglasses. 

(Not sure why MY sunglasses are bigger than my entire face....)
6.  The way he looks in glasses in general.

7.  Okay, just the way he looks in general!  Fine, you got me, I'm superficial.  He's hot!

8.  He's at least as smart as I am.  Possibly more so.  But I did beat him in Catch Phrase twice this weekend, so.........

9.  Because he hates to lose at anything.  And I'm a sucker for a competitive drive.  Not because I have one or anything.  Nope, that's definitely not it.  I don't know what you're talking about.

10.  Because when we brought Ally Grace home from the hospital, he got up EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. I had to feed her in the middle of the night.  For realz.  Sorry to any men out there who now have to step it up.  (But not really.  Because you should get up and help your poor wife who just went through some serious pain to bring your sweet baby into the world. Not that I have an opinion on the matter.)

11. Because he survived the Year of the Hormones, aka Sherri's pregnancy.

12.  And he never made me feel anything less than beautiful.....

13.  In spite of the fact that I was huge, bloated, a raging sugar addict, and may or may not have acted crazy most some of the time.

14.  Because he lets Jackson chase him around the house everyday.

15.  Because one day it'll be Jackson AND Ally Grace chasing him around the house everyday.

16.  Because he is decisive.  (Which is good, because I am not.  Am I?  I'm not sure. Bahahahahaha.  Sorry.)

17.  Because when we first met, he remembered what I was wearing, (although he's color blind, the shirt was red, not pink).

18.  Because he smells amazing.....

19.  And he's an awesome kisser. (EW! Oh no, she didn't.....oh yes, she did.)

20.  Because he is literally the most fun person I know.  And I know lots of really fun people.

21.  He knows all the lines in Dumb and Dumber.

22.  And every Pearl Jam song ever made. Which I like to give him a hard time about, but secretly think is cute.

23.  Because there isn't a bear, shark, nature, science, planet, or reptile show on tv that he won't watch.  And know more about the subject than the actual host of the show. 

Which I like to give him a hard time about, but secretly think is really cute.

24. Because he is really good at keeping me calm on airplanes in case I have a giant panic attack bit of anxiety.

25. Because he sends me on scavenger hunts in the middle of nowhere places like Sandersville, and makes me humiliate myself at every fast food restaurant in town by forcing me to say things like "don't I have a fine badonkadonk" to get my next clue. 

Oh yes.  He did.

26. Because he will tickle-scratch my feet at night, even when I say annoying things like "PLEEEEEEASE tickle-scratch me" while wildly shaking my foot, just in case his two-second pause meant that he was stopping.

27. Because last night, when our power was out and we were trying to sneak into AG's room to unplug her lamp, and I may have possibly gotten the giggles, instead of trying to help me get myself back under control, he started air-dancing in the middle of her room.  And I may have lost it.

28.  Because he is annoyingly good at almost everything he tries.  Seriously, annoyingly good.  Well, except iphone Monopoly and catch-phrase, at which I am clearly better. 

29.  Because he loves surprises.

30.  Because he doesn't get mad at me for trying to ruin figure out  his surprises.

31.  Because AS OF TODAY he's 3 years older than me (at least for the next 3 months).

32.  Because he loves Jesus more than me, Ally Grace, Jackson, peanut butter, tickle-scratching, nature shows, surprises, and Pearl Jam.

And that's reason enough all by itself.

Happy Birthday, BJP!

(Nope, I'm not saying what that stands for, because it may or may not be embarrassing a secret.) 

(Although you can feel free to guess.)

(But you will be wrong.)

(And no, it's nothing inappropriate!  Get your minds out of the gutter).

Thursday, April 22, 2010


Dear AAA,

Thank you for making my day miserable yesterday.  It was particularly heartwarming the way you started our conversation by asking if I was safe, yet then refused to come help me because it was my husband's name on the card and not mine.  REALLY?  I mean, REALLY?  Because it was John's name, you're telling me that he had to actually BE there for me to receive assistance?  Despite the fact that I can tell you his birthdate, social security number, and even his freakin' blood type?  Despite the fact that he actually CALLED YOU FROM TAMPA TO YELL AT YOU TELL YOU TO COME HELP ME?

Did I mention that I am stranded with a sick, hungry, and tired baby?  Did I mention that this is the THIRD TIME TODAY that my car has broken down? 

Oh, that's right.  I did mention that.  And you STILL told me that you couldn't come help me. 

I am SO GLAD that we pay for this crap your service.


Your most frustrated customer of the year, who would probably do something really mature like egg your offices, if she had any energy left after a day like yesterday.

P.S.  That was totally my brother-in-law pretending to be John when we called for a tow truck, after my car broke down for the THIRD TIME at the gas station yesterday.  If you're going to make up stupid rules, and not help frustrated mommies and their sweet little babies, I feel no remorse over doing whatever I have to do to trick you into coming and providing a service that, oh yeah, that's RIGHT, we ALREADY PAY YOU FOR.


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Two Things

1.  Is this not THE most adorable thing you have ever seen?

What's that?  You think I'm biased?

Um, clearly.

(Yes, the car seat is in the picture AGAIN.  I've decided to make it my goal to get it in every picture of AG from now on.  It might be weird when she's taking it to school for school pictures. Oh well.  We've started a tradition.)

2.  My favorite show is back on!  If you've never watched Glee, you MUST watch immediately!  But be warned:  you may or may not end up dancing and singing around your living room with a hairbrush for a microphone.

(And your husband may or may not end up covering his ears while you do.)

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Six Months

First of all, can we just take a moment to be proud that I'm writing this while AG is actually still 6 months old? 

Thank you.  Thank you so much.

Her six month doctor's appointment was on Tuesday, and girlfriend's making her move up the weight charts....woo hoo!  She weighed 15lbs and 8oz, and was 26.5 inches long.  Her head was 44cm. in circumference.  (Does anyone else feel that this is a weird measurement?  I mean, who wants to know that they have the big-headed kid?  Or the freakishly small-headed one?  And I feel that I can comment on that, because I AM the big-headed kid, who cannot wear hats unless they are adjusted to the last notch.  Or unless they belong to giants.)

Moving on......

AG is in that fun "golden age" that everyone talks about.....she is super smiley and giggly, and literally as sweet as pie.  (I love that phrase, btw.  Mmmmm, pie).  She actually allows me to feed her some oatmeal cereal now, instead of spitting it out like a mini-diva.  She likes to wave her hands around, put her feet in her mouth (charming), and say "da da da da da da." 

To which I generally respond, "ma ma ma ma ma."

She grabs for everything, tries to roll over when I'm changing her, and apparently wants to try my coffee every morning.  She is FASCINATED with my cell phone, and loves to watch the Praise Baby DVDS.  (Which John likes to call my "electronic babysitter."  Which I find slightly un-amusing). 

She loves Jackson already, and reaches out for him anytime she's close enough.  Unfortunately, Jackson currently prefers to ignore the little muchkin.  I'm thinking that'll change when she's slipping him cheerios on the sly. 

She's getting her SECOND TOOTH.....holy cow.  She takes 2 naps, and has 4 feedings a day.  She goes to bed at 7:30pm and wakes up at 8am. 

And I cry tears of happiness and joy.

I can't believe she has gone from this: this.........

And now to this......

(Yes, we DO take large amounts of photos in the car seat. What's that?  It takes away from her Easter dress?  Surely smocked dresses and orange polyester are a fashionable combo?)

I literally don't think I can love her any more...and then I do.  Here's to the next 6 months!!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Bathing Suit Season

If you're like most of us, those 3 words literally strike fear into your heart, and make you want to hit the gym for about 10 hours a day from now until Memorial Day.  And if you're NOT afraid of the bathing suit and/or the flourescent lights in every. single. fitting room out there, then I'm sorry.  We might not be able to be friends anymore. 

Anyway, I've been doing a pretty awesome workout called Group Fit for the last couple of years.  Trust me when I tell you, it kills any other workout out there.  If you live in the Atlanta area, you need to quit whatever you've been doing, and try this instead. 

I've even come up with a list of reasons to give Group Fit a shot.....I'm nice like that.

Reasons You Should Sign Up for Acceleration Fitness's Group Fit Immediately:

1.  You've (hypothetically) been eating large quantities of sugar cookies, cupcakes, and/or cadbury mini-eggs, more often than you will admit on this blog.

2.  You are still trying to get rid of the last of your pregnancy pounds---and they seem to really want to cling to your hips and thighs. 

3.  You may or may not occasionally find yourself ordering cookie gift boxes....for yourself.

4.  You want to try these "bootcamp" style workouts everyone seems to be talking about, but you're too lazy reasonable to get up at 5am and go to some random park.

5.  You want to try these "bootcamp" style workouts everyone's talking about, but you might possibly be tempted to punch someone in the face for yelling at you to "drop and give me 20." 

6.  Every time you go to the gym you either A) find yourself doing the same 5 exercises, B) sit in the ladies locker room talking on the phone, instead of ever actually working out, or C) opt for a mental game of "Who's Picking up Whom?" and accidentally forget to exercise.

7.  The price is literally amazing--$180 for 6 weeks of unlimited can go 5 times a week if you're crazy really motivated.

8.  In about a month, you're gonna be putting on a bathing suit for the first time in a sweet forever, and merely wishing your cellulite away just isn't gonna work.  Sadly.

Not to sound like an informercial, but this is by FAR the best workout I have ever done.  And I think I've done them all.  Except Zumba, which scares me.  But honestly, if you want to get your butt kicked (in a good way), and see some really amazing results, CONTACT AMBER ( RIGHT NOW.

 Literally, put down whatever you're doing, and email her now.  I promise, you WILL. NOT. BE. SORRY.

You can thank me later.

(Like when you're in the dreaded bathing suit, and your cellulite is nowhere to be found.  Hallelujah.)

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

A Mother's Love

Well.  I have now eaten the last of the Cheryl and Co. sugar cookies that I occasionally buy for myself as a gift to my thighs.  I have also managed to convince myself that it's actually GOOD that I ate all 12 cookies in less than 3 days, because now they are gone and can't tempt me anymore.  Right?


In true, oversharing Sherri fashion, this is going to be a post with too much information.  However, I feel compelled to make sure that you understand what I've been through in the last 24 hours, and thus feel appropriately sorry for me.

Last night, our sweet Monday night babysitter, Sara, (and my future SISTER-IN-LAW-- more on that below), called to tell me that AG was having a bit of a problem, ahem, going to the bathroom.  I will spare you the graphic details, because I am trying to remove all images from my mind nice, and just let you know that what ensued involved a call to my pediatrician's phone nurse, vaseline, a pinky finger, and some serious freaking out from my sweet baby.  If you're a mom (or even if you're not), I'm fairly positive you can catch my drift here.  And if you're not quite following, well, just enjoy your innocence while you still can.

Trust me when I tell you that I now know I will do anything for my girl. 

On another, less gross & more exciting, note (What? You can't handle any more excitement?  Yeah. Me either.), my brother-in-law, Jamey, proposed to his girlfriend, Sara, over the weekend!  I'm so excited for them, and for myself as well, since I now have another girl to even up the numbers in the family.  Sara's not only a great friend and babysitter/future aunt extraordinaire, she is a perfect match for Jamey.  Here are some pictures from the night:

Walking into the house after the proposal to find.....

.....all of these people yelling surprise.

We loved celebrating with you guys!

And on a completely unrelated note, here's a picture of Ally Grace TOTALLY sacked out.  She was literally snoring facedown into my shoulder.

(Excuse the hat, ugly hair, and bags under my eyes....we'll just pretend those aren't there, won't we?)

Friday, April 2, 2010

Sweet April Fools Day Revenge

Someone forgot to tell John that it's really NOT cool to call your wife the morning of April Fools Day and tell her that you've been in a car accident.

Let me just replay the conversation for you:

John:  Hey babe, I got in a car accident on my way to work.  Yeah, this lady cut out in front of me, and I swerved into another car to miss her.  They're telling me I have a broken arm and have to go to the hospital.

Me:  Oh my gosh, are you okay?  Which hospital?  And how will you be able to help me with Ally Grace if you have a broken arm?  Oops, did I just say that outloud?


Me:  You'd better sleep with one eye open, because I AM COMING FOR YOU WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT!

Later, as I was plotting my revenge, my friend Jenny weighed in with the brilliant idea to pretend I was pregnant.  At first, I thought "no way, he will NEVER fall for that." Which may or may not be a result of my inability to keep a straight face, and my tendency to giggle like a schoolgirl anytime I'm trying to prank someone. 

(It may or may not ALSO be due to the fact that I've tried pulling this one before.)

Anyway, then Jenny said, why don't you ask one of your pregnant friends to take a test FOR you? And then I said, GENIUS.  Because it enabled me to provide him with this:

(Yes, it IS a positive pregnancy test, and yes it IS laying on my kitchen counter. Oops.)

Now here's how THAT conversation went:

Me:  (Shaky voice--I so deserve an Oscar) Hey babe?  Um, can you look at something?  I was feeling kinda funny so I took a pregnancy test....Is it just me, or is that a plus sign in that window? 

John:  What?  Um, no.  I mean, those things can be wrong, right?  It's really faint, so it probably doesn't count.  (Grabbing keys) Let me run to the store and get a couple of those digital ones.  (This is how I KNOW he was freaked out, since Mr. Smart Saver NEVER lets me spend money on those "fancy" digital ones.  Ahem.)

Me:  (Slightly hysterically) WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!?!?!? 

John:  (Hugging me) Oh babe, it's going to be fine....don't worry!


John:  AHHHHHHHHHHHH (Tickling me until I screamed for mercy, with Jackson bravely running over to rescue me from the obvious torture that I was experiencing).

It. Was. Priceless.

I would like to thank Jenny for the brilliant plan, and Betsy for allowing the use of her pregnant urine.  And I would also like to thank the Academy......

Oh wait.