Monday, February 28, 2011

Baby Bangs

Dear baby bangs,

I hate you.

(Disclaimer:  this is NOT in reference to the blog, Baby Bangs, which I actually love. And stalk read religiously.  And maybe perhaps daydream about being friends with Amanda, Beth Moore's daughter.  Who probably hates being referred to as "Beth Moore's daughter." )

So, what was I saying?  Oh yes.  Baby bangs, you're awful.  Why do you insist upon torturing new moms with random hairs that stick STRAIGHT OUT of our heads?  Like, at a 45-degree angle?  Right where our hair parts....I mean, that's just unnecessary. 

And for that matter, why are you still sticking around sixteen months after I had a baby?!?!  I mean, a few months, I can deal with.  No one feels pretty right after having a baby (and if you do, there may be something wrong with you, and we cannot be friends).   What's one more thing? I mean, add it to the hemorrhoids, cankles, and spare tire around the middle.  I can take it.

But it's been a year and a half!  PLEASE.  GO AWAY. 

My flatiron can't even tame you, and at 400 degrees of straightening power, that's really saying something.

(And maybe I should examine why I think it's okay to burn my hair at 400 degrees on the regular.)

(And while I'm at it, I should examine why I think it's okay to say things like "on the regular." I'm not Usher.  Or Justin Bieber.)

So, while I appreciate you trying to keep me humble by making me look crazy all the time, I do not need your help.  I promise. 

I've got more than enough crazy to go around.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Valentine's Day and Christmas

What?  It's not like they're months apart or anything. 

Oh wait.  But they both involve the color red, so I think that makes it work. 


(Let's be honest, who even cares at this point?  Just the fact that I have some time to blog right now is nothing short of miraculous.  Maybe I should try to cover St. Patty's Day too, while I'm actually on here.)

So, we'll start with Valentine's Day.  I hope you all had a wonderful day, full of romance, flowers, and most importantly, those large heart-shaped boxes of own personal favorite.  My V-day was a little less exciting.  It started a few weeks before during a conversation with John that went something like this:

John:  Hey babe, I'm so sorry, but I'm going to be out of town for work on Valentine's Day.

Me:  Bahahahaha, that's hilarious.  Nice try, but I know you're just trying to surprise me with some fun Valentine's Day date. Where are we going?

John: really.  I have meetings in LA all day....

Sherri:  ....AND YOU'RE TAKING ME WITH YOU!  YAY!  I CAN'T WAIT TO SPEND V-DAY CELEBRITY STALKING.  I mean, in LA with you, of course. 

John:  I really have to be there for work, and I really can't take you with me.

Sherri:  Well, what idiot planned meetings on Valentine's day?! 

John:  That would be this idiot.


So, we celebrated with a baby-free weekend, the weekend BEFORE Valentine's Day.  John re-created our first date--in which we went to South City Kitchen (where I daintily stuffed my face with a plateful of fried chicken.)  Then, on to the Whole World Theatre for some improv comedy. (Where I prayed like crazy that they wouldn't pull me up on stage and make me do something embarrassing.)  Then, on to Krispy Kreme, where I, once again, stuffed my face (daintily, of course) with some glazed donuts. 

Clearly, every fun night should end with donuts and a super stylish hat. 

(A super-stylish hat that he made me wear all the way home.  Nice.)

He also was very sweet, and surprised me with a trip to one of my favorite stores (starting with an "Anthro"  and ending with a "pologie") to help me pick out a little treat.  I had to laugh at him  and this other poor guy, miserably sitting on a little sofa, waiting for their women to come out of the dressing rooms. 

(I may or may not have prolonged my trying-on experience just to see what a trooper he was.  I'm sweet like that.)

Anyway, since I was ALL ALONE on the actual Valentine's day (John, are you reading this? Don't feel bad or anything), I may or may not have rewarded myself with some candy.  And some lattes.  And a spin class (oh wait, that wasn't actually a reward, now that I think about it).  And watching lots of my favorite shows on tivo.  In my sweats.

It was kinda awesome.

Now, on to my Christmas recap.  I figure since we still have Christmas lights on the front of our house, this is totally acceptable, right? 

(Wrong.  In more ways than one.)

Regardless, here's a quick recap, list style:

1.  First Christmas at home as a family! Like, ever.  Well, ever in the last 6 years.  And it snowed on Christmas day for the first time in about 100 years.  Amazing.

2.  AG actually got to open and enjoy some presents.  Although, let's be honest, she really enjoyed the wrapping paper and boxes.

Pure Christmas Cuteness

Her new music set.  And I'm pretty sure she hit herself in the head with the maraca, right after this picture.
Oh sweet, Christmas memories.

3.  John and I were old farts mature adults and got ourselves a Christmas gift that we needed.  Yes.  The rest of our dining room chairs.  Perhaps you can tell this wasn't my idea?

4.  John then surprised me with a Christmas morning scavenger hunt.....

I will not even tell you how long it took me to figure this clue out, because I'm embarrassed.
Let's just say, a bit longer than it should have.

 .......that lead to the new love of my life my Kindle!

Why yes.  That's me, sleeping with my kindle. 
And yes. It was my sweet, kind husband who took this lovely picture of me.

At least I wasn't drooling.

Happy Christmas-tine's Day!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Lately... life has been nuts.  Seriously, nuts.  Think, a little something like this:

....wake up....feed AG, play with AG while negotiating three different contracts for three different clients....try to sufficiently wear AG out so she will nap longer than 5 minutes (unlike today), work, work, throw about 15 loads of laundry in at once in an effort to save time.....clean up the toys in the living room for the 14th time in one day, while wondering when AG will start to understand the concept of "helping mommy cleanup".....try to figure out dinner for AG....wonder if string cheese and chicken nuggets will cut it....again. Put her to bed.....try to figure out dinner for us.....wonder if string cheese and chicken nuggets will cut it...again. Fall on the couch in sheer exhaustion and decide to zone out in front of an episode of Hellcats.....(it's the Vampire Diaries of 2011.  At least for me). 

Are you jealous?  Yeah, didn't think so.  And any ideas on how to clone yourself? 

I did actually make it to a Superbowl Party last night.  Apparently, I was a Steelers fan, thanks to an extra jersey that Kristin brought me.  And the fact that I liked their colors better.  Which is a totally appropriate way to decide which team to root for.

Also, I hate the word root.  It reminds me of high school, where NO LIE, someone decided it was cool to start saying "Oh my root" instead of "oh my gosh." 

And by someone I do NOT mean me. 

(And I would never admit it if it was.)

(Although it wasn't.)