(Or, maybe just because you know how things work around here.)
(Which makes me love you even more than I already do.)
In light of last week’s experiences, I’ve come up with a highly educational and informative list for you. Please feel free to thank me later. (Or now. Whichever you prefer.)
TOP SIGNS YOUR CHILD IS SICK
1. She will magically decide to take a nap. Last Tuesday, AG’s teachers at school were all, “We think something’s wrong with her.” And I was like, “Why? What did she do?! DID SHE BITE SOMEONE?” And then they were all, “Um, no, but she actually took a nap today.”
(Apparently she believes that naptime rules don’t apply to her.)
(I have no idea where she gets such a blatant disregard for the rules.)
2. She will constantly cling to you in a death grip, koala-bear style. Which makes it kinda difficult to open a medicine bottle. Or go to the doctor’s office. Or go to the bathroom. Ahem.
3. She will literally refuse to play with anything. Even your iPhone. Even when you place it enticingly just out of reach, as a super scientific test to see if you can get her to move.
I almost took her to the ER right then and there, except I was afraid of a scenario like this:
Nurse: Tell me what’s wrong with your baby.
Me: Um, well, she didn’t want to play with my iPhone….
Nurse: Get out.
4. She will sit perfectly still, for THREE SOLID HOURS, while you watch Hellcats, Pregnant in Heels, and Bethenny Ever After. And when you get worried, and hypothetically try to tempt her with some brownies, she will not budge.
I almost took her to the ER right then and there, except I was afraid of a scenario like this:
Nurse: You again? What now?
Me: Um , well, she didn’t want to eat brownies with me while we were watching tv….
Nurse: I’m calling security.
5. Conveniently, your husband will be out of town. Upon his return, your child will magically begin running around like an adorable tornado of energy, with that awful popping toy that makes your ears bleed.
(Btw, he will not believe you when you tell him how hard it was, how stressed out you were, and how you clearly deserve a spa day for Mother’s day.)
(And he may or may not seem to find pleasure in repeatedly saying obnoxious things like, “oh, she just needed her daddy!”)
Obviously.
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| How pitiful is this face? Also, is it wrong that I took pictures? Also, don’t answer that. |
2 comments:
Sherri! Seriously? How do you make me laugh so hard?! Geez. You are my pick me up after a hard day;)
Glad little pretty girl is better. It IS pitiful and heartbreaking when they're sick! Happy pottying. ALONE.
A:)
Ah- just finished an ice cold can diet coke while I got updated on all things Sherri D. PERFECT morning. (You should know that my bible study is sitting next to me. In God vs. Sherri, Sherri won. Yikes). Hope Ally G is feeling better. I'd give a million dollars for mary kate to sit and watch pregoo in heels with me. But I think Rosie P's british lisp thingy gets on her nerves! Have a great week!!
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