Thursday, June 23, 2011

Hashtags and Hail

First of all, can someone please explain this "hashtag" business on twitter?  Mee Maw over here doesn't get it.  At all. 

Hey! Maybe I should tweet about it.  I think it would look like this:

What in the heck is a hashtag? #confusedandold

Dear Hashtag,

I refuse to use you.  Well, basically I don't know what you are, which makes me feel kinda ancient.  Also, I forget to tweet on a regular basis, so that might have something to do with it. 

Even still, on principle, I refuse. 

Btw, I would consider renaming yourself.  Because "hashtag" sounds like a weird cross between an illegal drug and a nasty skin condition.

Your twitter-challenged friend,

On a different note, I realized that I never posted about a freakishly terrifying interesting thing that happened to me back in May. 

(Why is this not surprising?)

Anyway, John and I went to the wedding of some good friends up in North Carolina.  We got up there early Friday afternoon, and decided to meet up with some other friends (Rod and Kristin) for a hike. 

I actually LOVE hiking.  One summer, we even went on a trip to Glacier National Park, and did 10 mile hikes every day....awesome.  So, needless to say, I was pretty excited for an afternoon hike. 

Until I noticed the dark thunderclouds that were nearby. 

Did I mention that I am the ULTIMATE weather worrier?  I'm basically down in our basement the moment a cloud is spotted in the sky, because I'm certain that there's rotation in it.

(Obviously, I am a weather expert.)


Here we are, pre-hike.  Yes, that's me, rocking some sweet spandex, wool socks, and hiking boots.
A winning outfit combo if there ever was one.

As we're hiking up this mountain, I'm keeping one eye on the dark clouds that, OH HEY, are moving closer.  Kristin, , meanwhile, is telling me that, as a PA, she's seen several lighting strike victims in the ER.  And did you know that lightening usually exits your body through your big toe?  Blowing it completely off in many cases. 

Why, no.  No, I did not know that.  Nor did I want to.
At this point, even the boys begin to get slightly worried.  The clouds are directly over us, it's starting to rain, and there are some occasional lightening strikes nearby.  We are also 2-3 miles away from the car, straight up a mountain.   (I may or may not have reached ultimate meltdown mode at this point.)

We turn around, even though there's no way we're getting back before all heck breaks loose. Suddenly, I get jacked in the head by something and realize it's now HAILING.  We half-slide down this muddy hill and take cover under a tree.  Did I mention it's still lightening?  Our sweet husbands literally cover our bodies with theirs, trying to shield us from the hail. 

Let's peek inside my mind at this moment in life, shall we? 

"Dear Lord, we're about to die on this mountain, aren't we!?!  I so didn't want to go out like this, as the idiots that decided to hike during what is obviously a tornado.  Oh my gosh, my big toe is about to get blown off, isn't it?  Because we're totally going to get struck by lightening.  Could you just take me home before that happens?  Wait, did John just start praying out loud?  Okay, that means I'm really not exaggerating and being dramatic.  We're in some serious trouble here."

There was a little more praying and begging for safety involved, but I can honestly say, it was one of the scariest moments of my life.  The storm finally stopped, and we made it back down the mountain, covered in mud, leaves, and hail bruises.......but so thankful for God's protection.

And for the fact that I still had my big toes, of course.

And here we are post-hike.  Notice the mud, leaves, and sopping wet clothes.
Please do NOT notice the weird finger-puppetness of my right hand.


Melanie said...

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!! I am literally CRYING from laughing so hard! I can't hardly see to type!!!!! That is SO funny!!!

.,....OH..... crying.....







kristymasterson said...

i too am a true old lady and do not understand hashtags....the name reminds me of something scary that comes from wafflehouse.

excited for someone to respond