Lessons from the Dental Chair

1. When you're offered the laughing gas treatment (yes, even during a cleaning), you TAKE. IT.  Combined with watching the movie "Just Friends," it is possibly one of the most fun experiences I've ever had.

(Okay, that just makes me sound sad and pathetic. I promise I've had more fun in life than an afternoon in the dental chair.)

(Maybe.)

2.  When you're high on laughing gas, everyone sounds like Charlie Brown's teacher.

3.  If you haven't been to the dentist in a while, let's just say you should probably load up your flexible spending account for the year.  And by "load up," I mean, put AS MUCH MONEY AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN IN THAT SUCKER.  You're gonna need it.

4.  Your husband may slightly freak out when you call him after your appointment to ask "babe, exactly how much money do we have in that flex account?"  Your question will be quickly answered with a "what have you done to your teeth?" And followed by a "HOW many cavities did you just say you had?"

5.  And finally, your husband's repeated jokes about how you have "marshmallow teeth" will NOT be nearly as funny as he thinks they are.

(Okay, fine.  They're kind of funny.  But don't tell him I said that.)

Hi Sherri's Dentist?  It's me, your most lucrative patient, judging by the number of fillings I'll have done this year.  If I had known I would get to giggle like a schoolgirl while watching my tv boyfriend, Ryan Reynolds, sing "I Swear," I probably would've been making appointments with you a little more often.  Like, say, every other week.


I blame this cavity situation entirely on you.


(Well, on you, my personal fear of the dentist, my hatred of flossing, and my love of processed sugars everywhere.)