Thursday, July 23, 2009

Intervention & Pregnancy Surprises

I think I need an intervention. Someone needs to help me stop eating strawberry cupcakes, as they are NOT an acceptable post-breakfast dessert! (And really, there's probably no such thing as an acceptable post-breakfast dessert). My mom made them though, and they are awesome. I have all these rationalizations for eating, the "I must eat more of them so they are gone sooner" excuse. Or, the "they have fresh strawberries in the batter, so I'm getting some fruit" excuse. I mean, we all know I like dessert, but Little Miss Sweet Tooth has taken over my body entirely!

I was thinking yesterday of all the things that have surprised me about pregnancy. I just assumed it would be this amazing experience (sometimes it is), and that I would look (and feel) as cute as my other pregnant friends have looked (and felt). Hmmmm, not exactly. Here's a list, mainly for my benefit, so I have a realistic record when I experience the "holding my baby for the first time, so my bad memories of pregnancy are magically gone" phenomenon. Which I hear is inevitable. Also, for my not yet pregnant girlfriends....I want to make sure you really know what to expect!

Sherri's List of Pregnancy Surprises
1. One of your first symptoms of pregnancy may, in fact, be a case of adult acne so bad that you do not want to leave your house. Ever again. Ditto for 3 months of morning sickness.

2. You will probably start to feel pregnant and bloated almost immediately, and will believe you are growing a belly at 8-10 weeks....even though you are clearly not. Case in point: this photo that I made John take of me at 9 weeks, where I was CONVINCED that my belly had "popped". Really? Really, Sherri? You have no idea what your belly is capable of just wait, girl.

3. Random strangers, and let's be honest, sometimes even people you know, will be compelled to make comments about your weight. The awesome ones will say things like, "oh you look so small," or "wow, your belly is tiny." And my personal favorite (so please tell me this if you see me out and about): "You don't even look pregnant from behind!" (If you have said this to me, I love you.) Unfortunately, the clueless ones will say things like, "oh my gosh, are you about to have the baby any minute?".....when you're only 28 weeks. Yeah.

4. Everyone in your life will now have a free pass to touch your belly. And honestly, in my opinion, it's not that weird....I always liked to touch pregnant bellies before too. There's something cool about them. BUT, just be ready for everyone to be touching you. And talking to your tummy. It makes me laugh, because when else in life would that be appropriate, or would your husband not FREAK OUT because another guy has his hand on your stomach? I'm just sayin'.

5. If you're active at all in your normal life, be prepared to feel super annoyed at the physical limitations that are coming your way. I'm just being honest, it is hard to have to scale back your mileage, if you're a runner. If you're into biking (which I'm not), you'll have to be careful, b/c anything where you could fall down and hurt your tummy is a big no-no. If you went to the world's most awesome bootcamp and frequently got to the point of wanting to vomit from the level of physical intensity BEFORE you were pregnant, you're probably gonna need to cut this one out entirely. You get my drift.

6. With that said, you'll probably get enough exercise from walking back and forth to the bathroom all day long.....hopefully you enjoy the decor in your bathroom, because you will see a LOT of it in the months to come.

7. Get ready to make friends with lots of ailments that you didn't expect to have until you were considerably older. I'm talking heartburn, acid reflux, and feeling out of breath when you walk up the stairs.

8. And oh the weird, weird dreams. It's true. I didn't really believe this, and thought it was a pregnant urban legend....but then, last night I dreamt that Tom Cruise (what?!) was making fun of how much weight I had gained, and John stepped in and punched him in the face. (I love you for dream-defending me, baby).

9. You will not feel cute, small, or "glowing" in any way, no matter what the amazing people you have in your life tell you. And the truth is, you'll probably look cute and pregnant to everyone else.....but (again with the honesty), it's totally normal if you feel the least attractive and self-confident that you ever have. You'll see. I think this is something that pregnant girls don't really talk about, because when people ask how you feel, the appropriate response is "great!," not "Well, I'm carting around 20-30 extra lbs, and I basically want to poke my eyes out with a fork when I have to be around skinny people." Bottom line, it's okay to feel how you're will be much harder on yourself than anyone else, and you truly will be looking GREAT! And not at all pregnant from behind! : )

10. It's okay to be freaked out by nursing bras, or nursing paraphernalia in general.

11. Nighttime throat burps. That's right, the minute you lay down at night, your throat will start involuntarily making embarrassing burping noises, and you can do nothing about it. This is especially funny when you and your husband are trying to pray together.

12. Finally, you won't really be prepared for how amazing it is to hear your baby's heartbeat, see your baby on ultrasounds, and feel your baby kicking and jabbing you during the think about who he/she will look like, what kind of personality they'll have, and what kind of parent you'll make. It's overwhelming for sure, and I have to remind myself not to get caught up in the "what ifs," but it is honestly awesome to be reminded of the little person inside of you.....which is clearly why moms go through the crazy parts. I'm not even there yet, but I can see how it's all worth it in the end.

If any mommies are reading this, what do you think? Did I miss anything? I'd love to hear some of your own little "surprises."

70 more days! AHHH!


Sara Huie said...

That picture of you at 9 weeks totally cracks me up. And thanks for all the words of wisdom... although I hope I won't need it for quite some time.

Meredith Williams said...

Oh Sherri :) I am loving your honesty! You certainly are the cutest human being alive, but I can guarantee I will come running to you when I feel the exact same way as get ready :)