Is That a Baby In Your Pants?

NO joke, that was the title of the most recent episode of I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant. Now, I'm no expert by any means, but after having been through childbirth, I am pretty positive that it's incredibly difficult to just have a baby FALL OUT INTO YOUR PANTS LEG. Which leads me to wonder several things:

A) What kind of pants was this person WEARING? I'm thinking trouser jeans, or some type of wide leg pant for this to occur. Certainly not skinny jeans....(btw, do NOT try to wear your skinny jeans 3 weeks after having a baby, no matter how much smaller you feel. Your self-esteem will take a hit, just trust me on this.)

B) I'm just a LITTLE curious about this woman's underwear choice. Or, should I say, lack thereof. Ew.

C) Are you kidding me that a baby could just fall out of someone? Hardly seems fair for the rest of us who had to take an active part in the process. I'm just sayin.

D) How many people actually thought that would be the title of my birth story? Although after being an avid viewer of IDKIWP (I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant....I'm so cool), I feel that I should have had an experience that would have been worthy of the show. Oh well. There's always next time.

Anyway, birth story is next, for real this time. I promise. No, seriously. It is. If I can even remember it in my new mommy delirium. In the meantime, here are a few things I've learned about Ally Grace during the last 3 weeks:

1. When she cries really hard, it makes her snort. And we laugh. Yes, we are mean.
2. She has more poopy diapers than I ever believed possible. I know you wanted to know that.
3. She definitely knows my voice, which is awesome!
4. She loves, loves her stroller. And I love getting outside in this awesome weather. Win-win. Win.
5. She likes for me to watch Arrested Development on Hulu while I feed her. Okay, really I just like to do that. But she would totally laugh if she knew how funny it was. And if she could actually laugh yet.
6. She HATES bathtime. Screams like a little gremlin baby. We just get in, and get out as fast as we can!
7. She likes to cry when we put her down for a nap.
8. She enjoys dirtying as many new diapers as she can. For example, she waits until she has a clean one, and then pees in it immediately. Then, we put her in another clean one and she poops. It's REALLY fun....for her.
9. She smiles alot.....and like every other mommy out there, I believe that she is actually smiling at me, instead of having gas. It's pretty adorable.
10. She hates the Baby Bjorn. It may or may not have something to do with our awkwardness when trying to get her in it.

Spit Up, Baby Wipes, and Dirty Diapers

Well, 2 of the 5 people who read this blog have "strongly encouraged" me to come back from blogging maternity leave, so I PROMISE the birth story is coming soon! In the meantime, I am up to my elbows in dirty diapers, and trying not to cry myself every time the little bug cries for no apparent reason at all.

Motherhood has been amazing, scary, frustrating, and wonderful all at the same time! We're working on getting on a schedule, and once that happens, I have a feeling that I'll be posting a lot more often....bear with me until then.

Here are some pictures of AG to tide you over in the meantime. I know I am biased, but I think she's pretty darn amazing! (My friend Kerie, of Kerie Cleveland Photography took these, and they are incredible....thank you, Kerie! Interesting side note: On the day she took these photos, John and I celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary....and guess who was our super talented wedding photographer? Kerie, did you ever think 5 years to the DAY later, you would be taking pictures of our baby girl?)

And now I feel old. Anyway...........

Are you dying at this cuteness? I mean, really.

I adore her......

Our new little family......

Unbelievable

Our sweet baby girl is here! We are still in a whirlwind, so I'll do the birth story later, but Ally Grace is PERFECT (yes, I am clearly biased), and we are so in love with her already!

She was born Thursday, October 8th at 5:03pm, and weighed 7lbs, 15oz. She's 22 inches long, which apparently, is a pretty long baby! No wonder the belly was so out of control!

She was worth absolutely every single minute of pregnancy torture.....here are a couple of photos of our little bug until I can post all 5000 that we took in the hospital!

Excuse my sassy hospital gown....I know, it's super fashionable.

How can you not fall in love with that little face? More to come, I promise!

Goodbye, Floating Baby Widget

Did you notice that I took the Widget of Creepiness off my blog? Well, I did. Mainly because it was making me upset, as it began counting UP once I hit my due date. As in, you have "5 Days To Go." Excuse me, but I DO NOT have 5 days to go, and you are upsetting me, little widget!
I am already teetering on the brink of insanity, so I do not need to see you over there with your false information!

Because I am actually FIVE DAYS OVERDUE. Oh my word. I don't even think pumpkin cupcakes could help me right now. Okay, who am I kidding, they totally could.

I was reading up on some ways of inducing labor naturally, most of which fall squarely in the category of "Last Thing I Feel Like Doing Right Now." But, one of the methods I found was to go get a pregnancy massage. So, I called John, and was like, honey, the internet says that a pregnancy massage could help me go into labor. I think it's a necessity. And you KNOW that everything on the internet is true. I could make an appointment at the little spa around the corner today!

And John (aka, Mr. Responsible) is all, why don't you just print some instructions off the internet and I'll give you one when I get home! Awwww, thanks babe, that's actually very sweet. Except, what I meant to say is that it has to be a professional pregnancy massage for it to work. It says so, right here on the message board I'm reading. Darn!

Yeah. It didn't work, ladies. Let's be honest, husbands are smart, and tend to prefer the free methods, like skipping, squatting, and jumping jacks.

Let me finish off this post with a list of my least favorite words on the planet. Random, I know, but I am super bored right now, so indulge me.

1. Jiggle
2. Ointment
3. Moist
4. Plug
5. Snot
6. Plump
7. Bean (that's just because I hate beans, so I can't really like the word either).
8. Tiny (because I'm not)
9. Toot
10. Crusty
11. Pick


Any great ones that I missed? For the record, one of my favorite words is "satchel." Aren't you so glad you know that about me?

Still Pregnant.....Are You Kidding Me?

Let's see, what do I have to show for this weekend? One raging cold, and no baby. Oh, and a lot of irritation that I am still pregnant.

And a bunch of cookies that are technically supposed to be for the hospital, but that may or may not end up in my belly before we get there.

It's totally weird to be waiting on such a huge event, and yet have no idea when it will actually happen. Every day I wake up and wonder if today will be Ally Grace's birthday.....so, MAYBE today? At this point, if I haven't had her by my doctor's appt on Wednesday, we will go ahead and induce....at the latest, she should be here by Thursday!

(John is convinced that she is in there blowdrying her hair, putting on makeup, and checking herself out in the mirror 3000 times before she can leave....now WHERE would he ever get that idea? Strange.)

By the way, THANK YOU for all the texts, sweet messages, and phone calls.....it's fun to know that so many are anxiously awaiting her arrival with us! John and I have been praying for God's will to be done in her delivery, and we believe that He has specifically ordained the day, the nurses, and the midwife who will deliver her. Which honestly really helps when I want to start drinking castor oil or eating eggplant parmesan.

They Determine Our Worth By Putting Beans on Our Faces

Who watched the Office last night? SO GOOD! Dwight was hilarious. And next week's going to be the best episode EVER.....if you've never watched it before, I highly recommend going to Blockbuster, renting ALL seasons, and spending the weekend at home watching. Possibly while eating candy corn, smores, or cupcakes. You will not regret it!

So, still pregnant. Yes, I'm officially overdue now. Yesterday, my parents came to town and we went to dinner at FLIP....fabulous hamburgers and even more fabulous pumpkin pie milkshakes! Oh my word, what a way to spend a due date. I actually probably convinced Ally Grace to stay in there longer, so she can continue to get delicious milkshakes and treats. I'm thinking there's no way boring milk is going to live up to all the fun-ness she's been having in my belly.

Also, I made John take an official 40 week belly shot before we left for dinner. Here's the full-term belly, in all it's glory!

I highly doubt I'll be organized enough to take a picture on the way to the hospital, so I decided to get one while I was thinking about it. Besides, after watching too much "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant," I am now convinced that I will probably have my baby on the side of 285, in the middle of rush hour. Or something equally insane.