Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Goodbye, Floating Baby Widget

Did you notice that I took the Widget of Creepiness off my blog? Well, I did. Mainly because it was making me upset, as it began counting UP once I hit my due date. As in, you have "5 Days To Go." Excuse me, but I DO NOT have 5 days to go, and you are upsetting me, little widget!
I am already teetering on the brink of insanity, so I do not need to see you over there with your false information!

Because I am actually FIVE DAYS OVERDUE. Oh my word. I don't even think pumpkin cupcakes could help me right now. Okay, who am I kidding, they totally could.

I was reading up on some ways of inducing labor naturally, most of which fall squarely in the category of "Last Thing I Feel Like Doing Right Now." But, one of the methods I found was to go get a pregnancy massage. So, I called John, and was like, honey, the internet says that a pregnancy massage could help me go into labor. I think it's a necessity. And you KNOW that everything on the internet is true. I could make an appointment at the little spa around the corner today!

And John (aka, Mr. Responsible) is all, why don't you just print some instructions off the internet and I'll give you one when I get home! Awwww, thanks babe, that's actually very sweet. Except, what I meant to say is that it has to be a professional pregnancy massage for it to work. It says so, right here on the message board I'm reading. Darn!

Yeah. It didn't work, ladies. Let's be honest, husbands are smart, and tend to prefer the free methods, like skipping, squatting, and jumping jacks.

Let me finish off this post with a list of my least favorite words on the planet. Random, I know, but I am super bored right now, so indulge me.

1. Jiggle
2. Ointment
3. Moist
4. Plug
5. Snot
6. Plump
7. Bean (that's just because I hate beans, so I can't really like the word either).
8. Tiny (because I'm not)
9. Toot
10. Crusty
11. Pick

Any great ones that I missed? For the record, one of my favorite words is "satchel." Aren't you so glad you know that about me?


kristymasterson said...

This was hilarious. I could just see your cute pregnant self sitting at your cute desk typing this out. I am praying for you. I found a fun blog/designer. The designers personality reminded me of you. urbangrace. google it then chase to the blog. She just had a baby and there are some great pics.
love you,

Bagwell's said...

If you haven't been induced yet DO THE MASSAGE! It's so worth it and I did go into labor 24 hours later.....Even if it doesnt induce labor it is wort it! I am thinking about you and praying for a perfect-pain free - quick birth! We love yall!

Sara Scheu said...

I just read Kristy's post- you would love Urban Grace! She's a friend of mine from college and you'd love all her stuff. She had a precious little girl a few weeks ago. Hope there will be a baby here SOON!

KatieMGreen said...

i think you covered most of the bad words. moist has always held a special bad place in my heart. :)
good luck tomorrow!!!