Goodbye, Floating Baby Widget

Did you notice that I took the Widget of Creepiness off my blog? Well, I did. Mainly because it was making me upset, as it began counting UP once I hit my due date. As in, you have "5 Days To Go." Excuse me, but I DO NOT have 5 days to go, and you are upsetting me, little widget!
I am already teetering on the brink of insanity, so I do not need to see you over there with your false information!

Because I am actually FIVE DAYS OVERDUE. Oh my word. I don't even think pumpkin cupcakes could help me right now. Okay, who am I kidding, they totally could.

I was reading up on some ways of inducing labor naturally, most of which fall squarely in the category of "Last Thing I Feel Like Doing Right Now." But, one of the methods I found was to go get a pregnancy massage. So, I called John, and was like, honey, the internet says that a pregnancy massage could help me go into labor. I think it's a necessity. And you KNOW that everything on the internet is true. I could make an appointment at the little spa around the corner today!

And John (aka, Mr. Responsible) is all, why don't you just print some instructions off the internet and I'll give you one when I get home! Awwww, thanks babe, that's actually very sweet. Except, what I meant to say is that it has to be a professional pregnancy massage for it to work. It says so, right here on the message board I'm reading. Darn!

Yeah. It didn't work, ladies. Let's be honest, husbands are smart, and tend to prefer the free methods, like skipping, squatting, and jumping jacks.

Let me finish off this post with a list of my least favorite words on the planet. Random, I know, but I am super bored right now, so indulge me.

1. Jiggle
2. Ointment
3. Moist
4. Plug
5. Snot
6. Plump
7. Bean (that's just because I hate beans, so I can't really like the word either).
8. Tiny (because I'm not)
9. Toot
10. Crusty
11. Pick


Any great ones that I missed? For the record, one of my favorite words is "satchel." Aren't you so glad you know that about me?